When you think about detoxifying your relationships, do you start with your relationship to yourself? Our relationship with ourselves sets up our success or failure in the world. It defines our level of self-confidence or self-esteem and how big we think we can play in the world. Our relationship with ourselves is the lens we use when we communicate with others. The more we have love for ourselves, the better our relationships are with others. When you think of yourself, do positive words or negative words come to mind? If you are like most people, you might find yourself being very critical of yourself and your actions. Are you one of those people? If you spend time criticizing yourself, it impacts you relationships with others. Your self-criticism and negative self-talk is a toxic behavior that is damaging to your mind and your body. Mentally your negative thoughts about yourself causes you stress and diminishes your dreams and your goals. People who think well of themselves are willing to go for big dreams, exciting vacations and have big social networks that support their dreams. People that don’t have good relationships with themselves tend to give up on their goals and dreams at the first sign of difficulty. They also tend to have critical or toxic relationships with others who also criticize their dreams.
If you don’t have a good relationship with yourself then you are more likely to indulge in risky or self-destructive behaviors because you don’t think you are worth the effort. This can show up when you are trying to lose weight or change to healthier behaviors. If you make a bad choice and screw up on your health plan you are more likely to give up because you don’t believe you are worth the effort.
It takes practice to change your relationship with yourself. If you are used to being hard on yourself, you will have to practice kindness towards yourself. If you think or say disparaging things, you will have to practice saying positive things. Detoxifying your relationships are about practicing behaviors that improve your health, environment and thoughts about yourself until the positive behaviors can shine through. The better the relationship you have with yourself the better the relationship you will begin to have with others.
Dr. Daemon Jones